OK, I am really annoyed that I didn’t figure this out earlier. Mike pointed out that the gibberish that Hayley was saying was an actual cipher. In particular he pointed out that in comic 284 you can use the following transformation to go from cipher text to plain text (top is cipher, bottom is plain)
a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z
v i g y c n ? b f p h u q m k r d j s a e t l o ? w
But lets reverse that… how about going the other way?
a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z
t h e q u i c k b r o w n f x j m p s v l a z ? d ?
Allowing us to easily fill in the blanks. This encouraged me to decrypt 309 giving:
Elan, I’m in love with you.
Yrhw, N’u nw rdjy mnck vdg.
Elan, I’m in love with you. Completely in love.
Yrhw, N’u nw rdjy mnck vdg. Lduzrycyrv nw rdjy.
My dad is being held ransom by an evil dictator.
Uv ehe nb aynwp kyre fhwbdu av hw yjnr enlchcdf.
I’m not really in the Thieves Guild anymore.
N’u wdc fyhrrv nw cky Cknyjtb’ Pgnre hwvudfy.
I cheat at solitaire.
N lkyhc hc bdrnchnfy.
I have a tattoo you’ve never seen
N khjy h chccdd vdg’jy wyjyf byyw.
I kissed a girl once.
N tnbbye h pnfr dwly.
OK OK more than once!
DT DT udfy ckhw dwly!
Elan, it turns out I may not be exactly what you would call–
Yrhw, nc cgfwb dgc N uhv wdc ay yqhlcrv mkhc vdg mdgre lhrr–
a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z
b s t o d r u a ? v h c w i ? g x l ? k m y n ? e p
or…
a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z
h a l e y ? p k n ? t r u w d z ? f b c g j m q v ?
Haley spoken a true word? What do you think? Does this give us enough to go and break the rest? Some words that translate to early letters in the alphabet should be good enough…